118 days ago
118 days ago
I am living in South Africa, in a town called Phuthaditjhaba. It is a rural black town surrounded by the Drakensburg mountain range. Huge cliffs soar over the town like an eagle scouting its prey, while below mud huts, dirt roads and children baring their bottoms reveal an honest picture of abject poverty.
I am volunteering my time here for 6 months, working with orphans, vulnerable children, schools and churches. HIV/aids is a reality for the people that live in Phuthaditjhaba; you either know someone with aids, have known someone who died from aids, or are living with HIV/aids yourself. The aids pandemic has become a very raw reality for me now. Mmami has entered my life and she is one in 1000’s who are suffering from this disease in this town. Mmami has already started making an impact on my heart after this first meeting, and I know that her life is valuable and that there must be hope for her.
Phuthaditjhaba is a town of character; sheep head is sold at the market, taxi drivers holler at you trying to collect an income and woman walk by with containers of water balanced delicately on their heads. I often think of Mmami as I go about my own daily life in Phuthaditjhaba; how is she doing, is her health improving? I visit her every month or so, sometimes she looks strong and I have hope, other days she looks weak and I feel hopeless. The thing I notice during every visit is Mmamis belief in her God is faithful and strong. Her spirit is graceful and her smile gives the dark and dingy room she resides in an atmosphere of hopefulness.
One ordinary Sunday, Mmami comes to church. That is an exciting day; she has walked from home to her place of spiritual comfort. She is looking good, and I am happy to see that her health has improved since I saw her last. Though it is a hot day Mmami sings from her heart and dances vigorously during the three hour church service. Her joy and happiness is contagious and I am so pleased to see her up and about. The service is long and the airless church is stifling, the inevitable happens, Mmami falls to the ground. My heart drops as she is carried outside and examined. Thankfully she is ok and she has only fainted. It seems the singing and dancing in this heat, in her condition, has proved too much on this day.
Life in South Africa continues for me, I teach English to school children, I lead life skill lessons for high school students, and I help out at the feeding scheme for orphans. Meanwhile, somewhere in the village Mmami lives on, but I know that it’s only a matter of time. My six months in South Africa is coming to an end, but Mmamis life is hanging on much less time.
From our church pastor I hear that Mmami is very unwell and has had to see the doctor. She is weak and ill, and having lost control of her bodily functions, she even defecates in his car on the way to the hospital. This news makes my heart weep, Mmami should have to suffer no more.
One week before my departure back to Australia, I hear of Mmamis death. It is moving news, I am sad but mostly I feel relief, for I’m glad that Mmami will no longer be suffering.
I have attended many funerals during my time in Phuthaditjhaba. They have been an experience like no other. Night vigils lasting 7-8 hours, where family and friends sing and dance into the early hours of the morning. I find it disturbing when the African women shriek and holler, their grief and agony made public in heartbreaking, tragic and distressing cries. However, Mmamis funeral is to be different to these other funerals. Unlike the other deceased, Mmami is a believer in Jesus and there is the great underlying joy that she is now in heaven with her maker.
The night vigil is the highlight of my South African experience. Instead of a dark, depressing, chilling night vigil, the 7 hours spent that night are the most joyful and uplifting times. As I join in the circle of clapping I am thankful for who Mmami was to me and what her life taught me.
After the night vigil we walk as a group to the gravesite. As I watch Mmamis sister drop a handful of dirt onto the coffin, I humbled at the amazing life that Mmami has led. She has impacted so many people and her life is a tribute to hope.
Mmami may have left this world but she has been a gift to all who met her. I am no longer the same, Mmami has blessed my life and since leaving South Africa my choices have been influenced by Mmamis inspiration.
After this experience I worked in adventure therapy with troubled youth in Australia. I spent 9 days on hiking expeditions with youth who in very difficult and stressful situations showed a determination and strength that reminded me of Mmami. Their struggle for a new and changed life reminded me of Mmami's struggle. I was inspired to give hope to young people who felt that there is no hope left for them.
I also spent 15 months working in South East Asia as a tour leader. During this time, I met people from all walks of life. I lead people on holidays around awe inspiring countries, and as I did so Mmamis spirit was with me. I endeavoured to meet individual needs of my passengers and to show an interest in their life. I aimed to show hope and joy by being a living example of what Mmami believed in, God's grace.
I now work in London, UK, with Young Carers. The kids I work with face overwhelming responsibilities at home; their parents or sibilings are either ill, disabled or drug/alcohol dependent. They deserve the chance to be kids, to enjoy life and to not feel the constant pressure of adult responsibility. Every child is worthy of love, life and hope. Each day my aim is to demonstrate hope to the kids I share life with.
Mmami taught me that hope is more than just living; hope is much bigger than we will ever comprehend.
Mmamis life may have ended early, but she gave the gift of hope and a ray of sunshine to all she met. The troubled youth in Australia, the passengers of mine in South East Asia, my young carers in London, all struggle in life in some way. Whether we live in the gutter, or live in a mansion, we all struggle and we all need hope.
Mmami taught me that remaining optimistic even in the hardest circumstances is the best way to live. Mmami taught me that joy is contagious, and that I can infect others with that delight. I can make a difference in a persons life, for there is always hope.
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